


I Don't Need a Birthday Wish (I've Got You)

by Cottonstones



Series: Promises and Plans [1]
Category: Panic At The Disco, Young Veins
Genre: High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 22:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is used to spending his birthdays alone. Jon just wants to make this year's the best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Need a Birthday Wish (I've Got You)

**Author's Note:**

> A prequel to the events that take place in the Promises and Plans 'verse.

Ryan is sitting out on his front porch; it’s his birthday, and the tail end of August is bringing a dry heat through Chicago. The sun is golden and washing down over Ryan’s front yard. He’s alone and he’s been sitting here on the porch since school let out, his backpack next to him and the envelope his father had left him stuck in between the screen and the front door.

Ryan fingers the ripped envelope. It’s a birthday card; he knows that much. His dad was already gone when Ryan got home, only the card was left behind. Ryan pulls out the card; it’s brightly colored, hokey with a lingerie model on the front and innuendo on the inside. A forty dollar bill slips from the inside and flutters down to rest on Ryan’s knee. His dad’s scrawl is scribbled on the inside, a little note: Happy birthday, kid. Here’s some cash to go do something with Spencer.

Unfortunately for Ryan, Spencer is busy visiting family out of town for his own upcoming birthday. Ryan’s mentioned this to his dad at least ten times, but he must’ve forgotten. Ryan’s alone on his birthday, it seems. He tucks the money back into the card and slides it into the envelope. Ryan sort of thought sixteen would feel different, but nothing will be different until he leaves this town.

Ryan sits there on the cool cement of the porch for a long time, until his ass is cold and his stomach rumbles. He considers going inside to fix himself up some microwave leftovers, but the second he starts considering it, he spots a figure coming down the sidewalk towards his house, smiling happily.

Ryan brightens instantly. He’s confused, but in a good way. Jon ambles up Ryan’s driveway, a wide smile on his face. Jon gives a little wave as he plops down next to Ryan on the porch. Jon throws an arm around Ryan and pulls him in close; Ryan’s face accidentally presses into the heated skin of Jon's neck. Jon smells like sweat and that cologne he always wears to school. Ryan tries not to flush as he pulls away from Jon.

“Happy birthday, dude,” Jon says cheerfully. It’s not the first one he’s gotten today because Spencer had called him around noon and Spencer always gets the first happy birthday; that’s how they do things and that’s how it’s been since they were seven.

“Jon, what are you doing here? I thought you were playing basketball with Andy and Tom!” Seriously, fucking basketball has been occupying Jon nearly every day, mostly because Andy really wants Jon to make the junior team with him this upcoming school year.

Jon's dark eyes go wide as saucers and he looks a little like Ryan just insulted his whole family. “It’s your birthday, dude,” Jon says, like Ryan’s birthday isn’t like every other day of the year. “I wouldn’t miss that.” He puts his arm around Ryan again. Ryan can feel Jon's thick fingers pressing against the knots of his spine. Ryan resists the urge to shudder. He knows it’s not okay to feel this way about your friend – especially your very straight friend.

“So, your birthday: what are you going to do?” Jon asks. Ryan shrugs and Jon's hand slips from his back, folding them in his lap. Ryan curses himself, but he won’t admit he misses the warmth still clinging to his t-shirt.

“Eat leftover pizza and not do my homework,” Ryan admits. Jon looks taken aback and then he shakes his head.

“No, no, no. That’s no good. Come on, between you and I we can think of something to do.”

Ryan can think of a million things he and Jon can do that would make for a good birthday, but most if not all of them involve no clothes and lots of kissing.

“My dad left me with forty bucks to do something.”

Jon grins suddenly. “Nah, let me take you out for dinner, my treat.”

Ryan sighs. He’s not one for charity. He can barely handle eating dinner with Spencer or Ginger sending him home with the remains of that night’s meal. Jon tucks his hands up under his chin and bats his lashes at Ryan. He can’t fight Jon on a good day, but today Ryan feels extra vulnerable and he wants to be taken care of, he does, especially by Jon.

Ryan stands and sets his backpack inside the doorway to his house before closing the door. “Alright, Walker, let’s go,” Ryan says as he offers his hand to Jon to help pull him up. Jon closes his hand around Ryan’s and stands as well, their hands still linked together once Jon is on his feet.

Neither of them drives; well, Jon can, but his parents have one car and his older brothers share the other. Ryan’s only just now turned sixteen and is excited to set up his driving test soon. But right now Jon and Ryan are sneakers to pavement, walking through the suburban streets that lead in mazes of two story houses until it breaks off into the downtown area.

The two of them end up sitting across from each other in the plastic booths at a little diner that Ryan remembers his dad taking him to a few times when he was younger, hazy memories of sticky sweet breakfast and simple smiles. Jon says to get whatever he wants. Ryan still feels a little bad about Jon paying, so he just orders a burger and fries. Jon smiles at their waitress; she’s a college girl who probably has little to no interest in them, but the smile still makes Ryan’s gut twist because he wants that smile all for himself.

“Where’s Spence?” Jon asks as they wait for their food. He’s fiddling around with the white paper wrapper off the straw. Ryan watches him wind it around his fingers. “I didn’t even think you’d be home, you know? I thought you’d be with him.”

“He’s visiting family. It’s a little last-minute summer thing before school and his birthday.”

Jon hums. “And Brendon?”

“Obsessed with Patrick, I figure. He’s been spending all of English class blabbering about how their two week anniversary is coming up.” No one is supposed to know Brendon and Patrick are dating, mostly because its high school and Brendon is a sophomore band geek and being gay would only add on to his bullying, but it’s also Brendon’s religion and Brendon’s family. Brendon had only told a strict few, those few being Ryan, Spencer, and Jon.

Jon takes a sip from his drink and scratches at the back of his neck. “And your parents?” He sounds like he didn’t really want to ask. Ryan just met Jon last year during freshman orientation and he knows a little about Ryan’s home life, but not as much as Spencer knows. Ryan still has to explain.

“I don’t know where my dad is and my mom hasn’t called.”

“So if I hadn’t come over, you would have been all alone today?” Jon asks, his eyes grow wide and concerned. Ryan shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk about this, not really. He’s used to his parents failing him and being alone on things like birthdays and holidays, but Jon's a guy with a close knit family and he’s not used to shit like this.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m pretty used to it. I’m sixteen, you know? Not a kid.”

Jon gives him a look that Ryan can’t read, but he doesn’t ask for an elaboration and that’s good because Ryan didn’t feel like giving one. He kind of just wants to eat and not think about anything except how much he enjoys being around Jon. Their food arrives soon after. Jon catches the waitress with a hand on her elbow as she goes to leave. Ryan ignores the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and pops a few fries into his mouth. The waitress smiles at Jon and Jon returns it; jealousy burns bright in Ryan’s stomach. He knows he should’ve stuck to the leftover pizza and bad TV.

“See my friend there?” Jon asks, nodding in Ryan’s direction. The waitress’s eyes flicker over Ryan for a brief second and she smiles before turning her attention back to Jon. “It’s his birthday. The big one-six.” The waitress laughs and nods knowingly.

“I’ll see if I can scrounge up some cake on the house,” she says before she grins at Jon and moves on to the next table. Jon turns back to Ryan who raises an eyebrow at Jon.

“If they don’t give you free cake, I know a bunch of other places that will.”

“What would I do without you and your ability to flirt your way to free cake?”

Jon swallows his bite of food before he talks. “Cakeless on your birthday is where you’d be and I just can’t accept that.”

The two of them eat and talk for the next hour or so. Ryan is feeling considerably brighter than he had when Jon found him, but that’s not unusual. Ryan always feels better when he hangs around Jon. There’s something about him that’s so comforting to Ryan, something that makes him forget his problems temporarily. It’s easy to smile and laugh around Jon and Ryan is sure that that feeling of comfort is just one of the many reasons he fell in love with Jon.

Ryan’s been harboring this crush, these feelings for Jon, since the third week of freshman year; really, ever since Jon plopped down on Ryan’s left during freshman orientation and lamented the fact that he had math first thing in the morning. Ryan has been charmed since then. He’s envious of Brendon for actually somehow figuring out that Patrick was gay and successfully wooing him; it’s a big accomplishment for a former Mormon like Brendon.

Even if Ryan could pluck up the courage to flirt with Jon, there’s still the fact that Ryan is pretty damn sure that Jon is straight. It wouldn’t work and Ryan would rather not risk one of his best friends for a frivolous crush.

The waitress checks on them one too many times for Ryan’s liking, but as she collects their empty plates, she leans in towards Jon, whispering something to him. Jon laughs and nods and Ryan can feel the scowl take over his face; he doesn’t care for this heavy weight of jealousy settling itself in his stomach. As the girl leaves the table, Ryan is still frowning when Jon focuses on him.

“So did she give you her number?” Ryan asks; he had been aiming for nonchalant, but it comes out sounding bitter more than anything else. Jon cocks his head in confusion.

“No? Why would she?”

“It just looked like she was into you, dude,” Ryan mutters. He’s aware he’s gesturing a little wildly. He probably looks insane. Jon's face is perfect and blank and even when Ryan is seething inside he still likes Jon. He’ll always like Jon.

“What makes you think she was interested?” Jon says, like it’s not totally obvious that this college girl is into him.

“She was…smiling at you.” Really, Ryan’s reasoning sounded better in his head.

“You smile at me, too. Does that mean you’re into me?” Jon replies. Ryan knows it’s meant as a reassurance, but all the air leaves his lungs, his heart aching slightly. Jon's eyes are oddly heavy and the silence is weighted. When the silence has stretched on too long, Jon coughs uncomfortably and continues. “She was telling me that she’s going to get you some dessert on the house. She wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh.” Now Ryan feels like an ass. He scratches at the back of his neck and wishes desperately to just move on from this topic. He’s barely able to hold a conversation let alone be skilled at social nuances. “That was nice of her.”

The waitress returns and sets two slices of cake down on their table, smiling sweetly at Ryan and practically cooing a “Happy birthday” at him while Jon nods approvingly. Ryan really just wants her to go away because she is making things difficult for him and it’s his birthday, after all. Jon pays her for their meals and slips her a few extra bills for the tip; Ryan makes for his wallet, but Jon shakes his head.

“I told you, dinner is on me. Now, what do you want to do after this?”

Make out is the first answer that pops into Ryan’s head, but thankfully his head-to-mouth filter is working and he manages to keep that inside. “Anything is cool.” What Ryan really wants to say is anything with you, but that sounds ridiculously cheesy even in the confines of his own head.

“We could go for a walk?” Jon suggests.

“A walk?”

Jon nods. “A nature walk.”

Ryan doesn’t know how much there is to see in the Chicago suburbs that he hasn’t seen before, but he still agrees to it because it means Jon is focused on him for that much longer.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.”

“Great! There’s a place I want to show you,” Jon says. Ryan nearly chokes on his bite of cake. He knows Jon doesn’t intend for any double meaning and it’s hardly his fault that his mind goes straight to that place in the presence of Jon. He’s a teenager, for fuck’s sake.

They leave the restaurant, walking slowly along the sidewalks without much of a path or a purpose. The sun is dipping low in the sky and it’ll be dark before too long; that’s one of the many things Ryan hates about the summer ending, along with the cold weather and the mountains of snow.

Jon nudges him when they’ve been walking for fifteen minutes or so, and Ryan takes in their surroundings. They’re near one of the long stretches of park that’s bordered by a thick wooded area. Jon points to the mass of trees and greenery. “That’s where we’re going.”

Ryan is hesitant to be walking around in the near darkness in a forest, but he trusts Jon and he knows he’ll be fine with the other boy. Ryan smiles, “Lead the way.”

It’s a lot darker in the forest than it was on the sidewalk and it takes the two of them a moment to adjust. Ryan feels sudden warmth against the chilled skin of his wrist; he jumps and Jon laughs. “It’s just me. I don’t want to lose you in here.”

“Oh.” Ryan’s thankful for the darkness, seeing as he’s sure he’s blushing right now. They start walking with Jon leading the way, treading carefully through the dim woods. He tells Ryan where to step and how to avoid gnarled roots blocking their path. “Do you come here a lot?” Ryan asks. Jon’s still got Ryan’s wrist wrapped in a lose circle of his fist. “You seem to know your way around.”

“Yeah, sort of, if I want to be alone.”

“I would not at all be surprised if you spend your time here nursing woodland creatures back to health.”

“Not exactly. I usually come here if I just need to think.”

Ryan can feel the ground sloping upwards under their feet, the light growing as the trees thin around them. Jon lets Ryan’s wrist go when they emerge on the top of a grassy knoll overlooking the park and a section of residential neighborhood. Ryan tells himself he doesn’t miss the warmth, but he can still feel the imprint of Jon's fingers around his wrist. It’s really beautiful in a way Ryan didn’t know his hometown could be. For one brief second, he can see Chicago the same way Jon does, instead of as a thing to escape from.

“What do you think?” Jon asks quietly next to Ryan.

“It’s really amazing.”

Ryan thinks that’s exactly what Jon had been hoping for. Ryan goes to turn and look at him, thank him for making today better than it would’ve been if he were alone, but his foot slips in the dewy grass and he loses his balance. For a moment, Ryan believes he’ll topple over the edge and plummet the drastic distance between the knoll and the ground. It would be just his luck to die on his birthday.

But Jon is gasping and moving faster than Ryan can even take in and then Ryan is tugged backwards hard enough that he tumbles against Jon and the two of them fall to the ground. Their jeans and t-shirts are damp, but at least they’re both safe – at least Ryan is alive.

“Jesus, Ryan, you gotta be more careful,” Jon says weakly. His dark eyes are wide and he’s breath shaky; it takes a long moment to realize that Ryan’s body is mimicking Jon's. It takes even longer for Ryan to gather that he’s practically sitting in Jon's lap, sprawled over him. He flushes and scoots over, plops down in the damp grass a safe distance from the edge of the hill.

“Pretty safe to say I’m going to owe you forever now,” Ryan pants. His heart is jack hammering in his chest. “First, you save my birthday, and then my life.”

“Do you typically need this much saving a day? I don’t know if I can handle that,” Jon teases. Ryan pushes a hand through his bangs; he’s sweating and still jittery. He doesn’t want to think of what would’ve happened had Jon not been as quick as he was.

“Seriously, though, Jon, before I nearly dropped to my death, I was planning on thanking you for making today good for me. I know there’s a lot of other stuff you could’ve been doing.”

Jon frowns and rests a firm hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “Ryan, you’re one of my very best friends. This isn’t…I don’t know, charity or whatever you think. I like spending time with you. I like you and I want you to know that even if you feel all alone in this town you’re not because you have me, okay? You’ll always have me.”

Jon's hand is still on him and Jon is watching him. The words and the dinner and the lifesaving are all combined until Ryan can’t think straight. He’s up on his knees and leaning forward, pressing his mouth to Jon's in a hard kiss. Their teeth click, and Ryan mentally cringes, but he doesn’t back down.

Jon isn’t pulling back, either. He’s got one hand planted in the grass and the other is settling, shakily on the back of Ryan’s neck, petting at the skin and hair there. Ryan groans a little against Jon's mouth. Even this minimal contact is enough to have his dick stirring in his jeans. He can barely believe this moment is real. Maybe he really did fall off the hill and this is just his mind’s last fantasy to ease Ryan gently into death.

Ryan pulls back and tries for another, softer kiss. It’s just a press of lips to lips. Jon's lips are soft, but Ryan can feel the slight catch where Jon has hair growing against his cheeks. Even though he’s kissing him, he’s still jealous of Jon's ability to grow facial hair.

They kiss; breaking and joining mouths until the both of them are out of breath and only then do they pull away from each other. Jon's mouth is wet and Ryan can’t even feel his own. That was his first kiss, but there’s no way he’s admitting that to Jon or anyone else for that matter.

Ryan sits back on his heels and waits to see what happens next. Jon kissed him back so he doesn’t think he’ll get punched in the face, but he doesn’t know what Jon will say.

“Was that, like, a reaction to your near death experience?” Jon finally asks. He sits himself up and stares at Ryan with a questioning gaze.

“What? No, no. I’ve…I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Ryan admits.

Jon cocks an eyebrow. “How long?”

Ryan looks down at his lap, “Since freshman year.” He slowly lifts his gaze to meet Jon's.

“All this time,” Jon laughs. Ryan frowns. “All this time we’ve liked each other?”

“We?” Ryan asks.

Jon nods and moves closer to Ryan, pushes the fringe of Ryan’s hair out of his eyes.

“I’m sort of in love with you.”

Ryan rests his hand over Jon's where it’s pressed into the grass. “You are?”

Jon leans in and kisses Ryan once again. “Don’t you trust me?”

“So much more than you know,” Ryan whispers. This still feels surreal to him, that Jon is returning the feelings Ryan’s had for so long. He’s anxious and he wants everything now. He wants to hold Jon's hand in the hallways at school and he wants to take Jon out on dates, kiss him anywhere and everywhere, have him and be his boyfriend. Ryan wants all that more than anything, more than getting out of Chicago.

“We need to go slow, though,” Jon says, he cups Ryan’s cheek and rubs his thumb against Ryan’s skin.

Ryan is disappointed, but he can do it. If Jon needs more time, he can do it. He’ll wait.

“But we can kiss?” Ryan breathes against Jon's mouth. Jon's lips quirk up at the corners.

“We can definitely kiss,” Jon says before he dips back in to meet Ryan’s mouth.

The two of them stay up on that hill kissing for what feels like hours, until darkness fails around them and the night grows cold. Jon only pulls away when Ryan begins shivering.

“I should get you home,” he says. Jon stands and tugs Ryan up with him. Ryan wraps his arms around Jon because he can now. Ryan is just a little taller than Jon and the older boy tucks his face into Ryan’s neck, strong hands resting on Ryan’s hips.

“If my dad isn’t back, you should spend the night.” They don’t have to do anything. Ryan just doesn’t want to be alone.

Jon huffs out a laugh against Ryan’s neck. “I’m a gentleman, Ross.”

“I trust you not to make a move, Walker. We’re taking it slow.”

Jon and Ryan hold hands on the way back through the forested area. They hold hands on the streets, not even breaking apart when cars pass them. Ryan rubs his thumb against the back of Jon's hand. Ryan having the knowledge that now he can have Jon; Ryan’s whole life feels lighter, easier to deal with. Jon, without really meaning to, gave him the best birthday present he could have.

Jon walks Ryan home and Ryan’s dad isn’t back yet; the house is the same as Ryan had left it. He really wishes Jon would spend the night with him, but he knows it’s too soon; this is all new and it’s better if the two of them wait.

Standing there on the porch, Jon pulls Ryan close, a hand in his hair. “Happy birthday, Ryan,” Jon says softly before he kisses Ryan.

That night, Ryan falls asleep warm and happier, more content than he’s been in a long while.

The week passes and Spencer comes back home two days before school starts. Spencer knew something had happened to Ryan from the moony sort of expression that’s been plastered on Ryan’s face and it wasn’t too long before Ryan caved and told his best friend what had happened on his birthday.

Spencer snorts through most of the story and Ryan shoves at him; the story was totally romantic.

It’s harder to spend time together once school starts. Jon and Ryan don’t have a lot of the same classes and they have to act like nothing more than just good friends, the same way Patrick and Brendon act. They don’t officially call themselves a couple until after Jon's birthday, when Jon told his parents he’s dating Ryan. It was awkward, but Jon wanted it and Ryan felt good about it afterwards when they were allowed to hold hands at the dinner table as the Walker family ate cake. He felt even better about it when he got to make out with Jon in his bedroom as his parents cleaned up downstairs.

Their relationship is new, but Ryan already wants a forever with Jon. He wants to date through high school and college, travel with Jon, marry Jon, have kids with Jon. He wants it all, and the best part is that he knows Jon wants it, too.


End file.
